Top of the world

They think it's all over, it is now!. Yes, Spain have won the World Cup.

The country who have waited longer than Nelson Mandela waited to get out of jail for true international glory for their national side have proved the statisticians and pundits wrong again.

Whether it was true or not, many people (including Maradona himself) claimed that the pre-tournament favourites never went on to win the trophy, while others said that no team had ever won a World Cup after losing the opening match.

David Villa, Busquets, Piqué, Jesús Navas, Sergio Ramos, Xabi Alonso, Xavi, Capdevila, Cesc Fabregas, Marchena, Arbeloa, David Silva, Puyol, Llorente, Pedro, Iniesta, and captain Iker Casillas (yes, that's him giving the world's new favourite WAG Sara Carbonero a kiss live on TV - as reported by Sky News - above) beat a rather "dirty" Dutch team headed by a couple of rejuvenated Real Madrid rejects (Sneijder and Robben) and a bunch of brutal ex-Barcelona bruisers (van Bommel in particular) to bring the cup to Spain for the first time, where the team received a rapturous welcome from an overjoyed crowd of thousands.

Well done lads, and when I've got time I'll post some links to what the world's papers said.

La culpa de todo la tiene Carbonero?*

First of all, forgive me for heading this post with a line in Spanish, but let me elaborate. 

As I recently discovered, there is an old expression here in my adoptive home country (Spain) used when things go wrong: La culpa de todo, la tiene Yoko Ono. It was even used as a song title. Poor old Yoko got the blame for Lennon moving to America, The Beatles breaking up and for John becoming far more of a hippy than the other three. So, just as we did with Maggie Thatcher in the UK in the 1980s, "it's all Yoko Ono's fault"* is a convenient way to place the blame on a hate-figure when things go wrong. " Thatcher's bloody Britain, no wonder my salary's so low / the weather's so bad / the trains are late / I've got such a hangover" etc...if you don't remember that you're either not British, too young... or David Cameron.

Now of course, a scapegoat is needed for the Spanish national team's shock 0-1 "hammering" at the hands of chocolate-and-cheesemakers Switzerland, as renowned for their footballing prowess as Italy are for banking.

And who would make a better scapegoat than Sara Carbonero, FHM's USA's "sexiest sports reporter in the world" , Casillas' latest conquest. After all many men hate the fact that he is with her, while many women hate the fact that she is with him. And you thought John Lennon (him again) was a "jealous guy". She interviewed him after the game and accused "Saint Iker" of "mucking it up", thus getting the two of them onto the front page of today's Times into the bargain. But don't just take my word for it, the whole of the British press have been scrutinising this interview. Spain's defeat was a surprise, and likewise, nobody expects the Spanish inquisition.

• BBC News
• The Guardian
• The Sun
• Daily Mail
• Daily Telegraph
• Sky News
• Bild (Germany)
• This Is London
• Metro
• Kickette (and previously..)
• New York Times (a little late with the story)

Curiously, on the day of the match, the New York Post named Carbonero WAG of the Day! Before or after the match, I wonder?

• New York Post (USA)

I'm just waiting for the tabloids' paparazzi snap of the two of them shopping for flat-pack furniture, just for the priceless caption - IKEA Casillas...

Every breath you take, every move you make, they'll be watching you...

US senator Eugene McCarthy (best known for inspiring a band who went on to spawn cult heroes Stereolab... or was that Joseph McCarthy?) once said:

"Being in politics is like being a football coach. You have to be smart enough to understand the game and dumb enough to think it’s important."  

The parallels between football and politics are endless. 

In Spanish, the word for a political party and a football match are exactly the same. Curiously (and curiously appropriately in the case of the current UK administration!), the same word can be translated back into English as "split", "broken" or "cut into two".

Any Spanish-based readers who are remotely interested in the beautiful game and with spare cash to invest in satellite dishes and digiboxes will be more than familiar with the Monday-evening Canal + prog "El Día Despues".

Not to be confused with the 1980s post-nuclear TV movie "The Day After", this is a several-hour long dissection of the weekend's football - formerly featuring my "homeboy" Michael Robinson, no less - where, in addition to analysis of goals, fouls, penalties, near-misses and saves, every detail of a number of important matches are scrutinised in detail with the help of various pundits, some very, very long telephoto lenses and a crack team of lipreaders.

Profanities directed at the referees, bench talk, crowd gurning and on-pitch asides are filmed and occasionally subtitled, leaving little to the imagination.

Now it seems that British journalists have deemed this a good way of dissecting the spanking-new Conservative-Liberal Democrat coalition that is intended to govern the country for the next five years.

The Guardian - Britain's finest newspaper (IMHO) - started by taking an exclusive snap of Nick Clegg's scrawled notes  for his clinch meeting with David Cameron, and then proceeded to try and interpret it. Now the Guardian journos have sent a body language expert to analyse the... er... body language between the new PM and his deputy. 

This is what he found out.

It's a game of two halves, innit?

Rafa vs. Rafa

Majorca's number one son Rafa Nadal was the talk of the town last week following his epic defeat of his great rival and five-time-titleholder Roger Federer in the Wimbledon finals last Sunday. The pros were full of praise for the quality of the match, Björn Borg called it the most nail-biting final ever and both John McEnroe and one-time British hopeful Tim Henman said it was the greatest match they had ever seen.

Rafa's English - despite being still peppered with a handful of unforgivable mistakes - does seem to have improved somewhat since his early attempts to express himself in the language. Although nowhere near as good as Federer's English, Rafa still needs to work out his infinitive / -ing ending confusion, but he has made a fair bit of progress, so credit where credit's due.

Fellow sporting Spaniard and namesake Rafa Benitez seems to have mastered the language more quickly, but maybe several years living in Liverpool may have something to do with it. The Liverpool manager seems a little more relaxed speaking in English than the Wimbledon champ... so let's have a look at the two of them.

This first clip of Rafa Nadal shows him answering a few very simplistic questions about his life on and off the tennis court.

Rafa Benitez meanwhile is seen here entertaining reporters with his slant on that quintessentially English sport of sports... no, not football - cricket!

Oh, and here's what the papers had to say about Rafa (Nadal) and his victory:

• Daily Mail
• The Sun
• Daily Mirror
• Daily Express
• Daily Telegraph
• The Scotsman
• The Sporting Life
• The Independent
• International Herald Tribune (USA)
• The Times (Rafa's Blog)

... and last Spanish Wimbledon men's champ Manolo Santana speaks to The Times...

Fernando Torres speaks

After scoring the winning goal for Spain in the Euro 2008, ex-Atletico Madrid and current Liverpool golden boy Fernando Torres is once more the centre of attention for the British press.

Here are a few clips of him and his gradually improving English.









Did you catch that awful "can to" though?

(Is the interviewer Spanish in this final clip?)

Sadly nothing on the Spanish Euro triumph, but here's what some of the papers said:

• The Mirror - Germany: Torres not Nº 1 Striker


• The Sun - Spain Will Reign for Years Now


• The New York Times - Slumping Striker Helps Spain Win


• The Guardian - Spain Reign with Beautiful Game...


• Daily Telegraph - Iker: Win is for All Spain


• The Times - Global Rule Next for Torres


• BBC News - Moment of Unity as Spain Win


• The Guardian (again) - How Luis Did it


• Liverpool Echo - Villa: Torres Vital to Team


• Daily Mail - Torres Snubs Chelsea


• Sky Sports - Aragonés: We Were the Best


• Football365 - What the Papers Said


• Australian Daily Telegraph - Sydney's Spanish Quarter Celebrate


• IOL South Africa - Spain's Euro Glory...


• Goal.com - Spain's Most Hated is Vidicated


• Bild (Germany) - Crazy Euro 2008


• The Local (Sweden) - Spain's Euro Win bad for Swedish Economy (?)

Finally, as connoisseurs of the great British pun, let us leave you with a selection of Euro 2008 wordplay courtesy of the tabloid press:

• "Diamond Guiza"
• - of course in the UK commentators pronouce Güiza as "Geezer"
  
• "The Reign in Spain"
• - Think of Audrey Hepburn in My Fair Lady
  
• "Torres on curse for glory"
• - the quarter-finals curse, of course

Support Spain!?

As England (and Scotland, and Wales and N.Ireland) have been unable to qualify for the upcoming Euro 2008 football tournament those jokers at Sky Sports have decided that we Brits should support another country this year - Spain! Carefully balancing the Spanish "olé-toro-toro" clichés with similar UK stereotypes (Guinness-swilling Irishman, kilt-wearing Scotsman, Welshman and blow-up sheep etc.) the commentator comes up with a few good reasons why the average Brit should follow la selección:

• Say no to pie and yes to paella!

• Forget morris dancing, caber tossing, male voice choirs and binge drinking, the Macarena is the only bit of culture you need to know!

• Let go of those Three Lions and take hold of a cow!

• Now you're Mr. Maracas, Señor Flamenco!

• Think of the plusses: no chavs, no WAGs and no need for a phrasebook!

• Local traditions will be respected because Spain always mess up too!

Here we go then...

Oh, and an excellent selection of phrasal verbs in that clip!
Can you catch them all?

Merry Christmas from Frank Lampard

Mobile phone operator Orange somehow persuaded Chelsea midfielder Frank Lampard to share his own pre-Christmas celebrations. Curiously, Lampard's partner Elen Rives is Spanish and so there may be a Christmas Crib hiding somewhere in the background... his daughter is called Luna for goodness sake (isn't that a dog's name?).

More on Frank's favourite Christmas traditions and more:

• Mince Pies
• Brussels Sprouts
• Christmas Pudding
• Christmas Crackers
• Boxing Day

Oh, and don't think of getting Frank a video camera for next Christmas, eh?

End it like Beckham

By now the world and his wife (that means you!) will know that David Beckham is packing his trunk (like Nellie the Elephant) and trundling off to the American "Soccer" Circus.

Poor Victoria never really had the chance to be truly "in the garlic" here in Spain despite her other half playing in the Spanish capital for around four years. But then she was never a fan of garlic anyway...

Nonetheless, it was his job, not hers which brought the superstar couple of the 90s to Madrid. In his time here Becks managed to win over the sceptics who thought he was just a pretty face to help Florentino Perez flog Real Madrid shirts in China and Japan and prove himself as a pretty handy player... and no more so than after an awkward period warming the bench at the Bernabeu, and then being sidelined by his national team as well following his decision to stand down as England captain.

After Madrid manager Fabio Capello was forced to eat his words when a series of poor results and injuries meant he had little choice but to include the ostracised Englishman in the first XI, Real Madrid's resurgence was virtually unstoppable, culminating in a heart-stopping, nail-biting final game to beat Mallorca last Sunday and win the League title.

Beckham was taken off in the second half and replaced by Jose Antonio Reyes (on loan from Arsenal). Reyes had underperformed for most of the season, but the Spaniard saved the team's bacon by scoring two goals and winning the match. Another goal was scored for Madrid, either by Diarra or by a Mallorca player's backside depending on which reports you read.

Here's a clip of Becks himself speaking just after the match.

And here's how the game was reported around the English-speaking world:

• BBC News
• The Guardian
• Daily Telegraph
• The Sun
• Daily Mirror

Plus a few general analyses of the Beckham phenomenon in 2007 and general Beckham related rumours:

• Sid Lowe in The Daily Telegraph
• "Tom Cruise to be Becks' boss?" ponders The NZ Herald
• BBC News on cuts made to Mrs. Beckham's TV show